I miss putting that tshirt on.

I've been losing my temper quite a lot lately. Maybe cos I'm having my menses now? Okay, that should be it. BUT! It doesn't mean that that's the only cause. I always say that to myself. Anyway, yesterday I got really worked up with some stuffs that can freaking go and suck balls. -.- SOME of you should know why. And I'm really sorry for being sucha b!tch. Especially to that guy and THAT girl. Yeah, you. I was being selfish. BUUUUT! When I say all this, it doesn't mean that what you indirectly told me yesterday was 100% correct of what you think. Get that right? Get that right? Please, I know when to move and when to stop. That was when my temper shot all the way up. I know where my limits are. Don't ever tell me what to do cos I know what I'm doing right now. I follow my instincts and my heart. And to you, look at yourself in the mirror before judging and telling people off their flaws you despise.


Sometimes I always have the deep-gut feeling that I still have hope for that person. The feeling would always come everytime that person gives me a glimpse of hint about _________. But now, after what happened yesterday, all my hopes for him went down the freakin' drain. Just today when I went to the library I saw HIM. Of all people, why him? Fxck. So much for hoping to see him -'- .


Yknow, when it comes to that guy, I always get really vexed but tingly-feeling at the same time. Oh you know... that kind of feeling when you see someone you love but don't wanna see that someone cos you guys are like in some kinda fight or something. But in my case, it's ONLY me, atleast that's what I've been thinking... To the extent of me having to be so worked up about the most simplest of all reactions (of his) , got myself yelling and screaming (in my head), "arghh!!! I shouldn't have been like that! !@#$%" So, yeah. I'm trying my best to change. AND! I'm trying my hardest too to get rid of his face in my head. (How can I?! I see him like... almost everyday for nuts!)


And to Black, I'm guessing you won't read this but... : I know this sounds a little pharisaical of me but, I heard something about you from S. I was right about you having you to quit _______ one day. Cos of that, I'm really happy. :)


Assalaumalaikum.